Life

The Hypocrisy: Black Men that Find Black Women Unattractive

Did you all get a whiff of the bulls**t that Rickey Smiley’s 15 year old son, Malik, spewed on the January 17th episode of “The Rickey Smiley Show?” In case you missed it or haven’t been tuned into the radio lately, Rickey’s son made statements about not being attracted to black girls and preferring foreign girls. He also said that he only sees Black girls as friends or sisters not girlfriends. He justified his statement by following up with the fact that he attends an all-white school.

pic courtesy: miseeharris.com

Rickey commented on his son’s remarks with disapproval but not before mentioning that the producers made him say it. Keep in mind that Rickey is the EP of his show and gets to review the final cut. I digress. Do we truly believe that this young man feels this way or did the producers twist his arm and make him express that awful sentiment toward Black girls? I’ll wait.

I love Rickey but accusing the producers of forcing his son to say that crap is exactly what I just said; crap. Yes, Rickey’s son is a child but he is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. He is also old enough to know what he likes and dislikes from a physical standpoint when it comes to dating girls. His son was not forced to say what he said, he said exactly what he felt. Who am I to say he is right or wrong for dating only Whites, Mexicans, etc.? What I can say is it’s disheartening to know that he is not attracted to women of his own race when the women in his life, the ones that shaped him to be the young man he is today are most likely Black.

This brings me back to last year when I watched Season 6 of the glorious Iyanla Vanzant’s show “Fix My Life.” The season highlighted the myth of the angry Black woman. She counseled a select few Black women of varying backgrounds and even brought in some Black men to get a better perspective of why they feel that Black women are angry and why they choose not to date us. Some of their responses had me a little annoyed. Read a few for yourself and let me know how it makes you feel.

“I don’t date Black women because the ones I’ve dated placed that strong personality of you and I’m just like stay in a woman’s place.”
“Whenever I encounter a Black woman the first thing she asks is how many kids do I have and how many babymamas? With other races I don’t have to worry about those questions.”
“Black women don’t want to date me because I’m abstinent.”

Hearing the Black men say those things about Black women made me feel a sense of anger. Like how dare you? As if they don’t know why we have to be strong and why we have to side-eye a dude when he says he’s not having sex and/or doesn’t have any kids. As if it’s not a fact that there’s an alarming number of single moms in the Black community. Therefore, we have no choice but to be strong because we lead households and have little pairs of eyes looking up to us for love and guidance. The same way it’s a fact that young Black women are being affected by HIV/AIDS at an alarming rate. Why? Not just because of carelessness but because we stand by our man and give them the benefit of the doubt even when we catch them red-handed cheating. That’s why we doubt Black men when they say they’re abstinent or that they don’t have any kids.

pic courtesy: oprah.com

Let me be clear, all Black men are not dirty dogs and all Black women are not angry. Placing such a detrimental label on a group of people just because of their experiences with a select few of the same race is nothing short of ridiculous. Hopefully Rickey Smiley’s son will not grow up and have the same sentiments toward Black women as those men on Iyanla’s show do. It will be up to Rickey and other Black men that love, honor and cherish Black women to open his eyes to the beauty and essence of the Black woman.

 

Teni S.

1 Comment

Nosy Josie

I did see this mess! He’s completely ignorant. He doesn’t even know the definition of foreign. There are plenty of foreign Black women. What he doesn’t like is black women – and that’s whats bothering so many black women (and men) who have seen this. To exclude an entire race of women – your own race of women – is a form of self-hatred and its sad. But to speak negatively about your own race of women on national TV is just hurtful. But he’s way too young to have developed an opinion like this on his own. I am confident that he learned this from the men around him. If men in his life embraced black women, he would too. Woo! Frustrating stuff. I’m glad you wrote about it. Great insight!

Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.